Romancing the Tomb

Romancing the Tomb is the Outreach Arm of The Keepers of Zombie Canon. Our mission — indoctrination about, preparation for, and build-up to the Coming Zombie War.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Dave wants to web design

go get a blogger account

Friday, June 23, 2006

Walken Loves the Zombie

"Choke on it! Choke on iiiiiiiiii..."He'd make a great Capt. Rhodes in a Day of the Dead remake.

Friday, June 23, 2006

On his rare days off, Walken says, he’s a loner who prefers to spend a Saturday afternoon by himself, relaxing with a zombie movie.

A zombie movie?

"Right now I’d definitely watch a zombie movie if I could," says Walken, grinning. "I mean, I’d absolutely love to do one, too. Zombie movies are interesting because it could be any budget. You can make it for nothing; you can spend a lot of money; it’s still a zombie movie."

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Zombie Adjacent: Miracle Mile

Like convincing yourself that the twenty you picked up off the ground actually did fall out of your own pocket, there are many extra-zombie movies that still ring true with our innate love of the zombie. As opposed to our other regular feature "Not Zombie," these movies are not overt attempts at co-opting the zombie mythos. They can be romances, high school morality plays, comedies, even musicals, but regardless of genre, there will always be two commonalities.

A.) First, there can be no zombie. Any inclusion of zombie in any way, shape or form would immediately trigger the application of the Zombie Canon. Tested in those fires, there are necessarily few that can come through purified.

B.) Second, the cathartic effect of the movie or other work must connect with the zombie touchstones of appocalypse, impromptu community, binary clarity, and accumulated atrophy. Often, these movies will have audiences well outside the typical spectrum of the zombie, which is why we should take note. They are the gateway drug to the zombie.

Miracle Mile

On the surface, Miracle Mile (released 1984?) comes across as a love story cut short by nuclear holocaust, but look past the Michael Mann-esque neon composition, and you will find no less than 3 of the 4 zombie touchstones — a ragtag ensemble of unlikelies, the sure-footed drumbeat of appocalypse, and a finale that will ignite all of your warm fuzzies for zombie doom.

Serves: Friends and loved ones with a bent for vignette-style naturalism but are still suckers for the "big idea." Also, ’80s freaks.

Goes well with: Return of the Living Dead

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Are you ready for the zombie epic/period romance?

I hear Taylor Hicks and Nickelback have signed on for the soundtrack…

“Being married undead means I can break wind and eat ice cream in bed.”Pitt outbids DiCaprio for zombie film rights

By Borys Kit and Tatiana Siegel

LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - It was a battle between Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio, and Pitt emerged the winner.

The production labels of the two stars -- Pitt's Plan B and DiCaprio's Appian Way -- were engaged in a competitive bidding war through their respective studios, Paramount Pictures and Warner Bros. Pictures, over an upcoming zombie horror book by Max Brooks titled "World War Z."

The bidding went back and forth between the two into Tuesday night and carried over into Wednesday. Sources say the rights sold for six figures, with the deal going to seven figures if the film actually gets made.

There are said to be no hard feelings between the companies, and DiCaprio is starring in "The Departed," the Martin Scorsese crime drama that Pitt and his Plan B are producing.

Not Zombie: Resident Evil

In the spirit of getting too far ahead of myself, let's kick off this blog with a regular feature, "Not Zombie."

"Not Zombie" will act as the conscience of the Zombie Community. When jonesing for that "zombie fix," even I must admit to a lowering of standards, but a mere 90 minutes later, as my reasoning faculties return and I find myself awash in shame, it is my duty, as it is yours, to contrast those guilty pleasures against the light of Zombie Canon, quickly expunging the heresy from the doctrine. To this end, I offer up Resident Evil, the movie that presumed its zombie card punched by its George Romero pedigree.
  • Exhibit A: "Zombies" are actually just incomplete mutations from a skin-cream-gone-bad.
  • lick-ochetExhibit B: The most highly-mutated victims bear no resemblance to their former human states. In fact, their bodies inflate into clean-shaven, baby-oiled muscle-scapes of bad CG endowed with "toad powers" such as a tongue that can be whipped around like a mace.
  • Exhibit C: Complete denial of internal logic. Mutations vary from withered, decomposing "zombies" to idealized, claymation killing machines without explanation. None.
  • Exhibit D: What's with the amnesia/flashback/Total Recall plotline?
  • Exhibit E: Milla Jovovich.
If Not Zombie, Then What Is It?
X-Men meets Memento meets Voltron

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

It Lives

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